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Here's the premise: Fifteen Gay males are put in a fabulous two bedroom condo in Earl's Court. Each week they vote out one of the group until there is one survivor whowill get a £1 million Gucci shopping spree (by Tom Ford) .
1. No music by Madonna allowed.
2. Redecorating the apartment or re-arranging the furniture is allowed onlyonce per week.
3. There is only one rotary phone line for all fifteen queens and no callcan last more than three minutes; under no circumstances will mobilel phones be allowed.
4. The use of the terms "girlfriend," "sister," "bitch," "queen" or "honey"are NOT allowed.
5. Fresh flowers will only be delivered every two weeks.
6. Those considered "tops" and those considered "bottoms" will switch every other day. I said 'switch' not 'swish'
7. Only 1998 back issues of Vanity Fair, GQ, Ocean Drive, Attitude, Hello,Vogue and People magazine are allowed.
8. The only concert "Gay Big Brother" are allowed to attend is the Diana RossSupremes reunion concert (Cancelled? Sorry!)
9. Survivors are only allowed to change clothes three times a day.
10. The only video that can be played during the entire run is BarbaraStreisand in "Yentil."
11. All underwear by CK disallowed; everyone forced to wear poly/cotton briefs from Littlewoods
12. Must be able to discuss in length every episode of the "Coronation Street."
13. Ecstacy, grass, and Absolute are NOT available; only alcohol allowedwill be Hooch (orange flavour).
14. Must be able to sing at a moments notice "I am what I am"
15. "Heaven's White Party" tickets will go on sale while you are on "Big Brother" You are allowed to charge over the phone.
16. No catalogues from Harrods, Harvey Nicks or Clone Zone are allowed.
17. No time allowed to visit your hairdresser for a quick "highlight."
18. Can only go to the gym every other week.
19. You may NOT make it out of the show for Halloween or Divali.
20. No food from carry out
or delivery; no Diet Coke stockpiled in fridge;
21. Oral sex with the producer, real name Amrit but generally refered to as 'Moti', in the two weeks before filming starts is not allowed although totally understandable.
22. Only one person a day is allowed to do Bette Davis "Whatever happened to Baby Jane"
23. Only British made 'gay erotica' videos can be played. Anyone actually coming after watching, awarded an extra life if chosen for eviction.
24. The word "Prada" can not be mentioned under any circumstances.
25. An arched eye brow may
not be used to display shock, surprise, or
Oh yes, the winners gets to have as much sex with the producer as he wishes, in fact if he ever wants to see the £1 million, it's advisable
Ali invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Ali's young male roommate was.
Superman was feeling bored after a week of crime fighting and wanted to go out and party so he called Batman on his mobile to ask if he wanted to go to a club. Batman said no, Robin had invited trade round and they were having a threesome.
Disappointed, and a little jealous, Superman called Spider Man to see if he fancied a few beers at the Silver Slipper. Spider Man said, no, he had a date with the Incredible Hulk. As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonder Woman's apartment to see if she was free. As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonder Woman naked on the bed with her legs wide open missionary style and grinding her hips like a mad thing.
Superman getting a bit frustrated, suddenly had a thought. "If I'm faster than a speeding bullet,I could be in there, give her one and be out before she knew what was happening." So Superman slipped on a condom, flew in, screwed her hard and then flew off happily dropping the used condom on the head of a passing catholic priest.
Wonder woman, who had noticed nothing but thought she heard something, put her head on one side and asked the invisible man who was laying on top of her with his dick deep inside her if he had heard anything.'No' he said, 'but suddenly my ass feels bloody sore.'
More ethnic politically incorrect Jokes
As you know, mobile phones
are every where now and even in India!!!
Enjoy.. from London wala
Mrs. Banta Singh was in the
habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on
over an hour. One day she hung up after 25minutes.
You know you are South Asian(IndoPak) when ...
Your house smells like fried onions.
When you tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent. (True)
There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them. (no... 150)
You make tea in a saucepan. (True)
You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.
You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes. (Sad but true)
You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.
Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
You call an older person you've never met before "uncle". (or"Aunty")
You hide everything from your parents.
Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
Your relatives alone could populate a small city. (We could populate the UK)
You study law, medicine or engineering at university.
You were thick so you studied Travel and Tourism or business instead.
You know no one who has studied music.
You went to a university as far away from home as possible. (I wish)
You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
Your best friend got married at the age of 18. (True)
You only make telephone calls after 6pm.
You like the meat well done.
You eat onions with everything. (They taste especially good with my Weetabix)
You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.
You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't understand you.
You secure your baggage with a rope.
You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight
You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family. (True ... but I deserve it)
You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
Your parents drive a Nissan\Toyota
You're rich so they drive a Mercedes
(For females) You're parents would freak out if you wore a crop top baring your midriff but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable (For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 9pm
You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go
When you were little you always wondered why your English friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning (I still wonder about that)
To your English friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid
Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names
You have annoying nicknames like Chotu, Chicku or Jagu!!! (thankfully not)
Your parents call all your friends "Beta" (son) whether they are indian or not
Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds
Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day
Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try to demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting.
Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids.
At least once a week your mom says, "I want to go to India/Pakistan"
No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit. ( Editors note. I have problems with this from guys visitng for sex !)
*Your parents worry what
other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor/ lawyer/ engineer.
You're parent's always say, "It's cheaper in
( submitted by one of our Asian visitors)
Your regular place to come and visit
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