www.Stradivarius-London.co.uk
SO, YOU'RE STILL AROUND THEN !
INDEX
    .
MAIN
INDEX PAGE
STRADIVARIUS
INDEX 
PAGE
STORIES
HUMOUR
CONTACTS
LINKS
ARTICLES
TRISH
      . ...
 

In which we learned some of the facts of life

I've often thought that the one man, one woman two point five children, a Woolwich mortgage and sex on sunday afternoons cannot possibly represent the very best way for human beings to order their lives.

I always thought that the 'Keep Sunday Special' campaign refered to what mummy and daddy did after daddy rolled home from the pub and plunged roast lamb, yorkshire pudding, assorted vegetables and six roast potatoes into a stomach awash with four or five pints of Ind Coope's Double Diamond.

Double Diamond, by the way, was a pretty revolting beer sold in the Midlands years ago mostly to straight men. At one time I thought it was inseparable from sex as it seemed that the men of the Midlands were incapable of performing without swallowing gallons of it.

As I discovered the magic world of sexual orientation I found that the preferred orientation of many of the straight men I met was flat on their face . I often wondered what they did with their wives until I discovered interestingly shaped black rubber objects in a funny little shop behind the Southgate Street bus station.

I learned about alternative life styles from school. Mr Bormann, the geography teacher who enjoyed showing his 'boys' educational films which mostly featured half naked brown people on every possible occasion, was always keen to enlarge our curiosity. The films were black and white and it was Mr Bormann who explained that the men all had smooth, silky, shiny brown skin with beautiful deep brown eyes. He explained how in some parts of the world all the men lived together in one big house and all the women and children in another big house.

Now even at an early age we knew that that couldn't be the end of the story but Mr Bormann didn't seem too keen to answer questions except during his private tutorials. I found out eventually that the men made little trips out of their house to have intercourse with their chosen, or more likely the nearest available, woman. They didn't even need Double Diamond or roast potatoes it seems. I wasn't too sure what having intercourse involved but apparently it was only used to produce babies and was similar to having sex.

As a result of this activity and creeping out of the hut and so on, babies got born who were then brought up by the women. At a certain age all the boys moved to the men's hut and were initiated. Now Mr Bormann used to go red in the face when we asked him what that meant but it was OK because it seems it was all about sticking pigs. Later. at a much more mature age, I saw a Channel four documentary about the same brown people and I found out that initiation was certainly about sticking something but not pigs.

By the time I had got the whole thing sorted out in my head, it did seem to make sense. The men lived in a kind of glorified backroom screwing each other silly with a constant supply of new talent to avoid the whole thing getting too boring. The women didn't have to put up with the smell of double diamond and since a couple of girls had once told me what they got up to together, I'm sure the women were happier without men around all the time

Everything was fine it seems until the missionaries came along and brought something called their position with them. From that date it was all downhill and the result, the sunday special. As I said at the beginning, there are better ways of living. Gay men and women with their questioning attitude to the received wisdom have been leading the way for years. The ball is now in the court of younger gays to build an alternative view of what is normal.

Top of page

..www.stradivarius-lo    .
MAIN
INDEX PAGE
STRADIVARIUS
INDEX 
PAGE
STORIES
HUMOUR
CONTACTS
LINKS
ARTICLES
TRISH
00