SO, YOU'RE STILL AROUND THEN !
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There's many a good tune etc etc..
So what's a column written by self confessed fifty something doing in a gay newspaper even such a worthy publication as this one ? Could anything written by such an ancient old queen have any relevance for a horny young guy with a surplus of hormones and a body to die for ?
Most kids are supposed to be shocked that their parents still have sex with each other and as often as not with other people. I was more shocked that my parents ever had sex even before I arrived on the scene.
If older men do have sex, and in the gay world some would have us believe that old age starts around 35, it's either by seducing a teenage boy, paying rent or wanking off another geriatric in a local cottage.
If you are into Mills and Boon you might believe in sex with a longtime companion but the cynical bit of you knows he's only sticking around for the reading of the will.
We also know that every gorgeous young stud is doomed to turn into a bitter old queen. That's part of the warning the straight world drums into us along with stories about masturbation weakening the spine and not sucking a cock when there is an R in the month. Maybe I got that wrong, but you get my drift.
I do know one thing. Nothing is worse than someone older, queen or not, giving advice to the young. Look how much notice the young take of our wise but elderly judges and politicians. Even poor old Cliff Richard turns out the occasional book full of good advice but is anyone out there listening ?
Having said all that, we do have a point of view. We don't loose our marbles as the clock strikes thirty five. We don't suddenly crumple up like a used condom. Our brains still work, our equipment still functions. Didn't Charlie Chaplin have a child when he was a hundred and ten ? Seventy year old bishops are dropping their cassocks or rather lifting them, as they pursue their grey sexuality. Let's get it straight. Grey can be gay and it can be great.
Welcome then to a column that sees the gay world from a different angle. A place where the brain only thinks about sex every five minutes instead of every five seconds. A place where there is time to talk while pumping up the volume. The fifty something world where we've been there, seen it, done it and want to go back and do some of it all over again. It's a place full of the sexy and the sexless, the fit and the floppy, the big, the bad and the beautiful. In fact it's much like the world you already live in.
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