My life is quite
complicated and I thought it would help if I gave you the run down on
My best friend. Married to Earl. Works at the Wimpy (if you are reading this in the
United States, then a Wimpy is a bit like a MacDonalds only even worse. Mind you
they do serve proper chips in some of them not those silly fries)
My half brother. Result of a union between my mum and a Rabbi, therefore
technically he is half Jewish. Almost certainly homosexual, in fact change that, is no
doubt the biggest poof who ever walked a trailer park
What can I say, we all love our mum even if she is a bigger slut than I am. Had me at
sixteen and Lionel three years later. Married Mr Nagel the school teacher but he ran
off with Sebastion the vicarís son and now lives in Amsterdam. Works for a chat line
now her looks arenít what she says they were.
Curently in prison. Seems to like it there and keeps getting sent back. Mum says itís
because she is having a lesbian relationship with Mad Marge, the tough warder but I
think mum has watched too many episodes of Cell Block H
My boyfriend who one day I hope to have children by. Big, like all my fellows, but
smothers me with love and his tummy.
Trace, my best friends, husband. Another big guy. (Me and Trace have the same taste
in men) Sometimes comes to see me when Trace is working.
The nerd who has helped me put this web site together. Skinny, spotty, not good
looking but where it matters is bigger than all the hunks in town. (Jason says there is a
god) Friend, or rather, close friend of Lionel
MR AND MRS CHAN
Owners of the local Indian take away, the Taj Mahal. Took it over from a
Bangladeshi guy and could not afford to redecorate
Local catholic priest, customer of the Firkin and Wheelcap, our local boozer, handy
with his hands.
Schoolteacher who somehow got married to my mum, escaped and went to live in
Holland with the vicarís son, Sebastian.
Nice chap, drinking partner of Father Pat (who says catholics and protestants canít getalong together). father of Sebastian
Vicarís son. Now living in Amsterdam with Mr. Nagel and working for the BOYS
BOYS BOYS social club
My friend who works with me at the Ranch, an adult health and fitness centre just off
the high Street.
Owner of the local curry house.
Lionelís big,black,boyfriend who lives in Brighton. lionel visits him a lot. Works in
Owns the betting shop
Another friend who married an old man for his money and got stranded in a Barratts
house on an estate miles from anywhere and no car, no bus and no life except the
Warder at the prison where gran is incarcerated. Mum thinks she is having a lesbian
affair with Gran. I think Gran just canít be bothered to cook for herself and prison
beats most old peopleís homes.
GEORGE AND DOTTY HENSON
Couple I baby sit for sometimes. They won the lottery, moved out of the Trailer park
to a real house and have garden gnomes and a pond with goldfish, and a white Ford
Modeo in the garage.