Copyright 1999

Hi, howís it going. Life really has looked up recently. Earl came over today as Trace
is doing an extra shift at the Wimpy to earn some extra money to pay for a new
dishwasher and Earl said it was a shame to waste the opportunity. Lionel had gone to
Brighton to see his friend, Winston. I met Winston once, big black guy, works in
security. Couldnít understand what he saw in Lionel but it takes all sorts I suppose.

Shane rang and mum answered, thought it was a customer and gave him the full
works. She was on the phone a long time and Shane rang off without even asking to
speak to me.

I dreamt last night about Lionelís nerdy friend Jason. God, I must be desperate. He
was dressed as a fireman and had a horse drawn fire engine with only one hose pipe
which seemed to be a mile long. He was pointing it at me and laughing as he squirted
me with a jet of water. I really donít believe that dreams mean anything but it did
make me determined to divert his attention next time he calls round to see Lionel.

By the way if you are wondering why Lionel is half Jewish and Iím not, well mum
went out unequipped one night and, she had an offer she couldnít refuse from a Rabbi
she met on the common and Lionel was the result. Of course she did the decent thing
and got  the necessary done and although he was sore for a few days, now thinks that
it is an improvement. He says that not having a covering means that growth is
unrestricted. He hinted that Jason had also been done although he isnít of the faith.
Everyone except me seems to know an awful lot about Jason.

I even asked Trace about him and she looked a bit embarrassed as though she was
hiding something. now that isnít like Trace at all. Weíre mates and tell each other
everything even if half of it is made up. I slipped up the other day and mentioned a
small peculiarity about Earl which I had no business to know and I saw a funny look
on her face. I hope she doesnít think anything is going on although she is getting a bit
ratty about Earl not being up to much on Fridays. Hope he can conjugate tonight.  Life
is complicated enough already.

I watched a promotional video for Disneyland mum had sent for. Looking at all the
sun-tanned, gorgeous people wandering around I couldnít quite square it with the visit
Trace and I made few years back. Then everyone in sight was even bigger than we
were. Made me and Trace feel almost anorectic. Still we both like big guys, perhaps
thatís the attraction of Earl. Lionel says heís a ĎBearí. I donít know where he gets
these words from. Called me a ĎChubby chaserí once. The cheek of it. Winston was
no scarecrow I can tell you.

Lionel is quite thin and dark, must take after his father although every Rabbi I see,
and I see a lot down the Ranch,  looks far from  boney. Perhaps if Lionel ate kosher
food or had a Jewish mother it would fatten him up. He says although most of his
male friends are rather large, he doesnít want to put on weight and has even started
going to the new gym next door to the Ranch to get himself Ďin shapeí. In shape for
what I wonder. 

Personally I like a guy when he is laying on top of me to cover me like
a duvet . Still I suppose Lionel has a point. If I was thinner, the Ďduvetí would cover
me even better. Must get a book about diets. Perhaps I could go to the gym. Might
meet a few Mr. Rights. Trace says all the guys who go to the gym are ĎMuscle Marysí,
whatever that means.  I know this Mary wouldnít mind getting stuck into a few
muscles. Trace laughed when I told her and told me to stick to the Essoldo Disco, any
night except Wednesdays.

She didnít explain why not Wednesdays. Perhaps itís Age Concern night. Now that is
an idea. get a rich old guy, kill him with passion and live off the proceeds. He would
be happy, I would be happy and if his miserable family werenít, tough ! Itís a dog eat
dog world and Iím the biggest dog in these parts. Wouldnít work though, rich old
guys always fancy skinny girls and they probably donít go to Age Concern discos.
Perhaps I should hang around the Cardio-Vaseline department at the hospital for a
rich fat old guy with a bad heart who canít afford to be too fussy with the time he has
got left. 

Friend of mine, Sharon did that. Got a lovely Wimpy house now on a new estate and
buried her old man six months ago. I donít see her much though as the estate is miles
from anywhere with no buses and she hasnít got a car. Trace told me her old man
conned her and apart from the house, had nothing. He was just after a bit of nookie
before he popped his clogs and he filled in the figures in his Halifax book himself so
when Sharon happened to peep inside it one day, she though he was loaded. The
things men do to cheat us girls. No wonder we donít trust them. Bastards.

Must go now, have to ring Shane. He should have recovered from talking to mum by
now. Perhaps with Lionel away, Iím in with a chance.

See ya.

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