Hi, my name
Trish agreed to let
me talk to you. You see, I donít think she has been entirely fair to
me in the little
chats she has been having with you. In fact the bitch set out to screw
I know she has been
pretty good as far as Trace is concerned. Trace hasnít any idea
that me and Trish
have been having it away. I respect Trish for that. It shows real
concern for Traceís
feelings. No what Iím not happy about is that Trace is now
perhaps I walk both sides of the track.
Now Iím a guy, right
? I love women, well what I mean is I fancy them, in bed, like.
No way am I a poof..
Sure when I was young and knew nothing about sex, I did play
around with other
guys, we all did. Itís natural, isnít it. Even the psychiatrists say that
we all go through
a phase, donít they ?
I mean, most girls
are pretty knowledgeable these days and they arenít as easy as they were
once upon a time, so a guy has to get his mates to help him out when he
urges, donít he
?. Donít mean heís, a shirt lifter.
Then there was when
I was inside doing three months for pinching a Reliant Robin.
Stupid me ? I thought
the owner would be pleased with me pinching one of those
heaps of crap. After
all, he could get his insurance and buy a decent car. Turned out
the owner was the
son of the Chief Constable who bought it as a statement against the life
style of his Mercedes owning, holidays in Barbados and ten bedroom mansion
Inside, there ainít
no women and you canít switch off your needs, can you. So there
you are, back to
your mates again. Of course there were real queens in prison and we
all despised them.
Most of them had got husbands though, so we didnít get a chance
with them anyway.
Course, we went a bit further than when we were kids, I mean
blow jobs can get
boring even with your best mate so we took it in turns.
Of course outside
prison and now being a happily married bloke, all that is now
behind me. But your
mates are still your best friends. Most guys prefer being with
their mates but
everyone needs a woman in their lives. I mean, your mum canít be
there for ever and
someone has to doing the washing, the ironing and the cooking and if there
is regular nookie thrown in, well most guys will go for it.
Of course if there
is regular nookie elsewhere, most guys will go for that as well, but
as long as the other
half doesnít know, well thereís no real harm done. Thatís why
girls like Trish
are so great. They know the score. And they get what they want and
donít even have
to wash a manís underpants.
So how come Trish
found me in bed with Lionel ? I mean, she didnít mind, after all
my life is my own,
I donít have to answer to anyone. Anyway she had that kid with
the Chinese chap
at the Taj Mahal and although she thinks it was a big secret,
everyone in town
knew about it.
Lionel was a one
off, Trace worked an extra shift, Trish wasnít at home when I got to
the trailer, and
Lionel offered. I mean he was standing there in his Calvin Kleins holding
a packet of Johnies and I call that offering. Now normally I would have
said no, but Lionel is quite persuasive and I know him and Shane get it
together sometimes so I thought why not. Lionel insisted on safe sex, of
course, all poofs do, well thatís what Iím told, so I used a rubber and
I have to say, it wasnít bad.. Reminded me of being back inside, inside
with my mates.
Of course when Trish
turned up, she was randy as usual and I had to perform again.
Good job Iím young
and fit even if I could do with losing a few stones. Funny though,
Lionel seemed really
turned on by my beer gut. Said I was a real 'Bear', whatever that
means and all the
Chubby Chasers at the Essoldo Disco on a Wednesday night would go mad for
Anyway, what I wanted
to say is Iím not a poof, Iím married, I love my wife and Iíve
decided that even
if I do accept Lionelís invitation to go to the Essoldo Disco with
him next Wednesday,
it will just be for a laugh, right. Good. Glad we got everything sorted.