A short selection of articles reflecting on modern gay life
The Orange Network
Strange colour change in gay men

Viagra, the blue revolution
The small blue pill which changes your life

Free Access
Some thoughts about internet access deals including the latest pink providers.

Fantasy Playlist
The ulimate turn on

One small snip for a man
I was very young and had no idea what was happening.

Back Tracking
Written after facing hundreds of men's backs on a sunny Pride Parade.


Can someone explain what has happened to a whole section of the gay community. What drug are they on which has turned them all bright ornage ?

Look in Boys, Now or QX magazine and the proof is there. There are photos of black people, Asian people and Orange people. They also have totally hair free bodies.

Now I have read that eating too many carrots produces orange skin but sucking too may dicks ?, I don't think so. Perhaps it is an ingredient in the bottles of coloured water they have drunk laced with unidentified alchohol and strange herbal flavour instead of good healthy lager.

The turmeric in Curry may be the cause but as it is universal and not all former white guys are into vindaloo, I doubt if that explains the strange effect.

I don't frequent clubs these days so I cannot vouch for the percentage of orange customers but they do not seem to frequent the gay bars. There you have pretty normal looking Black, Asian and White skins as one would expect. But even here when photographs are taken in bars and used in these magazines the photographer always manages to find the orange people although I have never seen one in years of visiting bars.

It will I'm afraid have to remain a mystery. However a friend reports that orange people are pretty common in magazines such as Hello which I am told are  for those sad people who enjoy seeing so called celebs flaunt their sofas and potted plants.

I'm also told one or two have started popping up on television as presenters on minor cable channels. It is inevitable that one day the whole cabinet will turn orange and possibly the whole royal family. There must be a cure somewhere for these unfortunate people.

I suppose gay people will get the blame for starting the epidemic but the evidence is hard to argue against. In the meantime always wear a condom if you come across an orange who needs fucking, just to be safe.



We all have in our heads a play list of past sexual encounters which we can re run when we are alone. Memories of guys, how we met, what we did, it's all there waiting to be accessed.

We all have our fantasy play list as well. Encounters which never took place but which we wanted to happen. Guys we worshipped from afar, guys who just said 'no', guys we saw on a bus or in the tube, guys who never knew what they had missed.

My own favourite is a young Philipino guy who came to work for me. When I interviewed him, I wanted him and couldn't stop getting worked up inside. He worked for me for several years and we spent a lot of time together. We shared hotel rooms at times and the sight of him coming out of the bathroom in simple cotton briefs drove me crazy.

He never objected to an arm round his shoulders and seemed totally relaxed about physical closeness.

For my part I just did not dare approach him directly but eventually when again sharing a room in a hotel, I asked him to share the bed. he said no but not angrily or in any bad way. He carried on being close, we shared rooms again often and I wonder if I should just have taken him in my arms rather than ask him. In my fantasy that's what I do and it works and the sex is fantastic although it never happened.

Fantasy sex is the ultimate safe sex and being based on real people and situations which almost happened, the images have a reality magazines and video do not provide.


When I was a young man, before going out to meet someone for sex, I always had to come before I actually went out. If I didn't, I would come far too quickly and spoil the encounter with the person I was meeting. That changes slowly with age and actually gets better in some ways . Think sex and there you are an erection ! 

At some point, however, the equipment develops a mind of it's own and starts getting as hard as a broom handle at three in the morning but faced with the upturned bottom of a beautiful man, refuses to wake up.

Drugs make it worse, prescription drugs I mean, especially those for high blood pressure. I take one of these and while it doesn't prevent erections, it makes them even more unpredictable.

When I first read of Viagra, it sounded pretty good except the scare stories of elderly men dropping down dead after taking it. I suspect that these stories were put about by the same breed of killjoys who wrote the 'healthy sex' pamphlets my parents gave me as a young man. In these masturbation caused feeble mindedness, spinal fluids to drain away, hair to grow on the knuckles and impure thoughts to occur.

Then came the arguments about should the health service pay for it or not and if it did would it bankrupt the service. Did the state have the duty to ensure every citizen had a good sex life. While it was pointed out that a sexually satisfied population was less likely to indulge in anti social behaviour, the moralists and accountants won the day with strict conditions laid down for prescribing the little blue pills.

Now I'm pretty straight forward with my doctor, who happens to be a woman, but I do find it hard to discuss anything sexual with her. I did manage to pluck up courage to ask for a hepatitis B injection but really didn't fancy talking erections and the unpredictability thereof. I'm not sure but I suspect that the fact that I did get erections, however unpredictable, would disqualify me from getting extra erections on the state.

It also seemed that this wasn't a simple drug and as my sex life was OK except that I could not be certain of carrying out one act I really enjoyed however attractive my partner, I settled for a more passive life style.

Some time ago I did check out Viagra on the internet where tablets can be obtained very easily but at a price. I'm not against paying for a drug which enhances my sex life, in fact while I support the health service 100%, there are things I think people should pay for theirselves even if it does affect some aspect of their life. Fertility treatment for example or cosmetic surgery, perhaps even having a baby. 

I decided to forget the whole matter until a couple of months ago I though, if a 100mg tablet of Viagra on the internet costs around £15 and it is effective if divided into four 25mg portions, that about the price of a pint and a half of beer on a night out. And if it works, well that isn't so much to pay. So I connected, placed my order, risked my credit card getting cloned by a china man in Shanghai, and next day a jiffy bag arrived containing just four tablets.

The first time I used it was with a guy two days later I had also met over the internet. Half an hour before he arrived I swallowed a quarter of the tablet with water and then spent two hours of pure enjoyment which took me back twenty years. Two days later, a regular turned up who years ago I took an active role with but who had grown used to being on the top. Did I surprise him, it was just like it always was and it lasted and lasted. In my early sixties and I'm going at it like an eighteen year old.

Now I feel a new confidence about myself. First I have a wider choice of guys. Secondly I have no fear of not performing and satisfying them whatever they want. I didn't experience any side effects from the tablets and have made myself well aware of what I am looking for. I am aware I am taking them without any medical supervision but I am using a very low dose, perhaps only twice or three times a week and I am in pretty good health. After a few months I may 'confess' to my doctor and ask if she can write a prescription. Perhaps then I can obtain them at a little better price through normal channels. I still do not expect the state to pay but can see no reason why it should make private purchase difficult.

I see Viagra though as only a start. I am sure other similar products will eventually arrive on the market and of course those who want us not to enjoy sex will campaign for their use to be strictly controlled claiming all kinds of catastrophes both medical and social. I'm an adult, I know the risks but I have also found the benefits. Sex is just as important at sixty as it is at sixteen and if Viagra enhances it's enjoyment, then the killjoys can do their worst but if it's around, I'll find it !

A thought occurred to me during the Gay pride Parade this year.   It came to me as we all got very close to each other as we turned into Regent Street. I was faced with rather a lot of bare backs. Now that's very nice but you know how it is, you start to get picky at times.

I found myself noticing all the skin blemishes, spots and  wrinkles even on the backs of quite young chickens. Now you know how it is when you get an idea into your head, even as we thinned out, I kept noticing more and more backs and, yes lot's more imperfections.

Now in the gay world, imperfection is out. Magazines and films teach us that the only body worth having is that which is perfect in all respects. Photographs taken in the clubs and printed in the endless pages of Boyz, QX,  and so on always have groups of three or maybe four perfect physical specimens, stripped to their waist and not a blemish in sight.

Of course it could be that Pride does not attract this sub section of the gay world, they are too busy in the gym or lying on a sun bed or consulting an expensive blemish removing clinic about an eruption which is about to ruin their social life.

Or could it be much simpler. The fact is we rarely see our backs. Others do but are probably too polite to comment. Very few of us actually know what we have hidden away back there and so out of sight out of mind so to speak.

The sunshine which came out just in time for Pride will probably help those lads who did remove their shirts but can I suggest a long handled brush and a lot of scrubbing. Better still, get a friend to scrub your back for you next time you shower together. A year's hard work and next year there won't be an imperfect back in sight.
copyright 1999

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I never knew what was happening and even if I had there was very little I could do about it. One small snip and at a few months old, a lttle bit of skin had gone. I never ever knew that it had been done and by the time I did I never had to courage to ask my parents why.

To this day, I haven't got a clue why. I know it was more common to get a boy 'done' in the times when I was born even when the boy concerned was not Jewish. I now know that it is still fairly common in the United States. I also know, from asking doctor to 'do' my own son, yes I know I'm gay but I have a son so stop asking questions and concentrate.

He refused saying that all I had to do when bathing him was to pull his foreskin back a little each time and eventually it would pull back naturally. Now being a gay man, and a father I didn't really feel comfortable with making bathtime a time when I manipulated my seven year old son's genitals.

For a start, he seemed to enjoy it and secondly it showed. The poor little thing went as hard as a rock. Discussion with the doctor seemed pointless but I decided to teach him to do it himself. This worked but seemed to also set him off in other directions which led to his trouser pockets being sewn up for a while.

I've lost touch with him now, but that's yet another story, but I hope he is happy with what he has. Personally I have always liked my cut state and found others also be appreciative. When I first saw an uncut organ up close, I couldn't believe it. I thought it look strange and even ugly. Some were not even too well maintained and we all know all about that. I never had the problem so it came as a shock the first time I met someone who lacked  perfect hygene.

I also have to say that I have a theory that leaving the skin uncut restricts the growth of what, for want of a better word, I will call the 'knob' Cut guys, including myself, always seem bigger at the working end than the uncut guys. I base that on close examination of rather a lot of samples over many years.

I have had it explained that the uncut find masturbation easier having a built in lubricant so to speak. personally I've never had any problem in that direction anyway and have been happily pulling away since the age of about eight. I'm told uncut guys have more  sensation when carrying out this manouvre. If they do, how does anyone know ? 

I read in the gay press that there is a move by some guys who were cut as a child to try to restore the missing bit. They talk of being 'incomplete' of being mutilated or being the victim of some kind of medical assault. Personally, I'm perfectly content with being as I am. I also wish I had taken my son to another doctor willing to do what I wanted. I don't think male circumcision should be compared with female circumcision which is a far more drastic procedure.

In the meantime, I've learned to love both versions of the male organ, each has it's own attraction but they do respond to slightly different techniques which you can have an awful lot of fun learning about.
copyright 1999

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Once there was a British genius who invented the language which led to the creation of the world wide web, or internet Access to this new fangled system was mostly limited to Universities and people of great intellect. Then along came the mighty A.O.L and Computerserve who for a king's ransom would connect ordinary mortals to the system.

The system flourished but high access costs kept Joe Punter away, especially in the United Kingdom where rip off charges are the order of the day for everything from restaurant meals to, well, internet access. 

Following the principle of free newspapers which are stuffed through our letter boxes, and free magazines which in the gay world we have seen so many come and go over the years, Dixons, introduced Freeserve offering free access for the price of a local phone call. They hope to make a fortune from receiving a small part of the phone charge and advertising. They, as the largest computer retailers in the UK, will also benefit, they hope, from extra sales of their electrical goods.

Freeserve were not the first to offer free access, just the ones who did it in a big way with over a million people signing up. (How many however signed up more than once when their first connection went pear shaped as mine did ?)  After the initial bad experience everything has been OK since but I still signed with a second company FreeUK just as a back up in case of difficulties with Freeserve.

Realising that this must be a honey pot, everybody in the land is now clamouring to offer us free access. Even the Sun has go into the act.

So  now we have our own gay internet service provider courtesy of the Pink Paper and Boyz with the original title SONOW.net.

It has two extra areas, Boyznow and Dykesnow, the first catering for the young clubbing male and the second for the out and about female. 

Looking at the opening page I have pondered if I should or should not 'sign up'. Against is the fact that in my experience adding any software to a computer fucks it up for a time until you work out what has happened. I recently installed some anti virus software and lost my internet access for six days until I uninstalled part of the package and everything got back to normal..

I can also access most of the SONOW site using one of my current service providers and they both give me web space. Anyway if I want free web space companies such as Geocities and Hotbot are only too pleased to oblige and have very easy methods of uploading files. This page has been on Geocites for a year and I have found their service very reliable. It is now also on FreeUK.Net

So for the time being, I'll use SONOW but not sign up. I might even make it my home page (the one the computer chooses first). The deciding factor is will the site offer anything for an older gay man ?

I sincerely hope it does. Look at the facts. One of the the biggest growth of internet users has been in the over 60 bracket. They are not there to play games but use the web for all kinds of purposes. For example I have this site but also run a reunion site for people who were with me in the RAF when I was sweet eighteen. It keeps those people together and has a growing number of people using it.

There is also money to be made from older gay men. We spend money on everything from food to holidays. perhaps we don't buy the latest Blur CD but many think nothing of forking out a couple of thousand pound for a trip to some exotic land. You can make money out of us ! This week I have used the net to find a hotel in India, book theatre tickets and check out an airline flight. If  SONOW recognises the existence of the older generation of gay guys and includes content of interest to them then I'll keep visiting. If not  it  if will just become another disco bunny site or a site full of links to subscription porno sites..

I wonder too how much longer chat lines and phone line contact ads can survive in Boys and the Pink Paper. Already it is much easier to find guys on sites such as Gaydar at no cost than it is to use expensive phone systems. SONOW will almost certainly be aware of the danger to the parent papers if this kind of advertising is lost.

So good luck to SONOW. Let's hope it survives and offers a service to the whole spectrum of gay men and women whatever their age.

NOTE 2003. This article is now very dated but left on the page for interest. Stradivarius is now hosted by Freeuk.com, Hotbot has gone, Sonow seems to have vanished but Boyz has it's own website as does QX magazine.
Contact ads do seem to have reduced in number in Boyz but QX which allows raunchier ads seem to hold it's own.
Gaydar seems to have swept the board as the No1 on the net for contacts.
You can also place an ad on this website by mailing us at

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Material copyright Stradivarius 2003.